Back in the early 90s, Yorktown residents Roy and his wife Elizabeth Sokol knew their chances of conceiving on their own were limited due to medical complications.

Almost two decades later, the couple is raising their adopted daughter Katie and Roy has written a book 'Infertility & Adoption: A Husband & Fathers Perspective' about the ordeal. He wants other couples who are going through the adoption process to have resources and information—and some support.

At the time, fertility treatments and international adoption were both in an early stage, developmentally; so information, and their options, were quite limited, Roy said. For years, they endured fertility treatments—which were both physically and emotionally draining—before finally deciding to try adoption.

"It was part of our fabric in what we wanted as a couple and life," Roy said of why they decided to adopt a child.

With the help of an attorney specializing in Russian adoptions, Roy and Elizabeth found out about a 2-month-old baby girl named Ekaterina, who was living in an orphanage in Irkutsk, Russia, about 125 miles north of the Mongolian border.

"Our hearts joined the very instant we saw the picture," Roy said, but added that he and his wife Elizabeth would experience more pain before realizing their dream of bringing Katie home.

"We found our daughter, and after that, it still took years to go through the political maze of Russia," Roy said. "You've got the baby room set up, and then the government would announce a moratorium. So there were months when we would have to walk by that empty baby room."

Two years later, the day came when they were able to bring Katie back with them to New York.

"There seemed to be no barriers and felt that as we held her in our arms there was no other child in the world made for my wife and I," Roy said.

Looking back, despite all the difficulties he and Elizabeth faced, Roy said he sees the whole journey as a blessing.

"How lucky are we to have been gifted the opportunity to not have children, and to go around the world to find our daughter and to have her here?" he said.

Fifteen years after they brought their daughter home, Katie is a senior at Yorktown High School and works at Waterview Hills Nursing home as an aid preparing for a career in occupational/physical therapy. Her father describes her as a fun, happy, warm hearted, full of love, witty and intelligent person.

"She cares about people, doing the right thing and has a high energy passion for life," he said.

Roy said his family is a "normal, happy American family." He said it was important to share his experiences with other people who might be going through something similar. From early on in their attempts to start a family, Roy said he began writing down his thoughts and emotions and remembers how hard it was to find information and support from others who were in his shoes, and didn’t want others to go through that process alone.

"I never thought I would write a book," he said. "But after the process was over I knew I had information that would be valuable in assisting other couples be successful. My goal was and is if I can help one couple be successful in this life in making the result I attained happen, I've made my contribution back for the gift I received."

Roy’s book, "Infertility and Adoption: A Husband and Father’s Perspective," was released by RoseDog Books in January and can be purchased at www.rosedogbookstore.com and on Amazon.

"Nothing hits more closely [than problems with starting a family], not jobs, not money," he said. "It's life. Looking at how lucky I am, and through all the heartache, I wanted to put out there a resource that people could use and [also] to show that they are not alone out there."

While infertility can be a touchy subject, the Sokols said they think "transparency only makes you stronger."

"If this book can help one person achieve the dream of having a child or can bring understanding of what it means to be a mother or father ... if this can help you break through your fear or stigmatized thought process, I’ve achieved my goal," Roy said. 

In his book, Roy captures the emotional turmoil he and his wife, Elizabeth, endured as they tried to conceive, the years their lives were put on hold, and the excruciating sense of loss and finally happiness. 

He said he is available as a resource in listening and sharing his experience with people who are going through the process. Roy said he is also interested in getting the word out to anyone wanting to partner in a common goal or raise money for people who have limited money for medications, counseling or others. For more information, visit his website. 

Roy Sokol works as a Base Manager of Aircraft Maintenance for Washington- Dulles Airport. He has also served in the U.S. Marine Corps, worked for four airlines and two telecom companies, and started three successful businesses. 

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