One of the goals for children with an autistic spectrum disorder is to enable them to see things in a less concrete way. I learned long ago to watch my words, but am starting to realize Peter looks at other things concretely too. Peter can play pretend now, but he will often break through those pretend moments to be sure the other person he is with knows he is just pretending. He seems to almost be convincing himself that this is imaginary. He will bark and then say he is not really a puppy, for example. The other day, a friend tried to give Peter an amazing 3D puzzle of the human eye. At …

A week before Christmas we were headed home from a Christmas show when a car crossed our entire lane. Even with a quick swerve, we couldn't avoid it completely. Although we avoided a complete disaster, our minivan still looked pretty awful and the whole family was pretty stressed by the incident. Accidents are never fun. Trying to help someone on the autistic spectrum deal with an accident is truly a challenge. Peter does not answer questions about himself well. The girls were able to tell me which body parts ached, but that everything seemed to be in working order. Peter kept telling me he …

One of my children's favorite activities is decorating the Christmas tree. For several years, Peter would be enthusiastic, but then quickly lose focus. As Charlotte and Kit clamored around the boxes of ornaments Peter would flit in and out of the room. I would have to cajole him to put up each of his special ornaments. Soon, he would be off in the other room, watching a Christmas special. Occasionally he would come in to see how the tree decorating was going. This year was different. When we started decorating, Peter started searching for his favorite ornaments. He was joining the girls …

When I was growing up in the Bronx, most of my family lived only a few miles from each other. That meant that part of every holiday was hopping from place to place to see relatives on both sides of the family. I loved all the hustle and bustle. I enjoyed seeing so many family members and the friends that came with each change of location. I had favorite foods from each house too. There was one holiday and the one thing I remember most was my coat. For some reason that year, it felt like I had spent all day putting it on and off or waiting in it as we took a very long time to say goodbye (an …

My two daughters, Charlotte and Kit, and husband, Bill, are appearing in Yorktown's Fiddler on the Roof. They have been rehearsing for weeks, and are gone several evenings at a time. This meant that our family routine was completely turned upside down, something that can cause my son Peter, 9, quite a bit of stress. Most people who have autistic spectrum disorders like routine. My guess is that when things are different they never know which of their senses are going to be assaulted. Routine means Peter knows what to expect and can prepare for it. The trick was to make this new crazy schedule…