Katonah resident Bea Rhodes read about a global effort to hold candlelight vigils for peace on MoveOn.org. Feeling the pain of Friday's shooting in Newtown, CT, she emailed her network of friends to see who wanted to help organize a local event.
Her friends Len Martello, Bruce Yablon and Michael Minard, among others, spread the word. The result was an informal gathering at dusk on Saturday night, with friends and neighbors embracing and coming together for comfort and companionship.
"I think people want to just be with neighbors," said Rhodes. "We feel so paralyzed and coming here felt like we were doing something."
Locals were just starting to hear the news that a Katonah native, Anne Marie Murphy, was a victim of the shooting. The 52-year-old mother of four died protecting the students she loved, Newsday reported after talking with her parents, Hugh and Alice McGowan of Katonah.
Gigi Zeller said she didn't know Murphy but felt the pain of all the victims deeply.
"We are all devastated and hurting inside," said the Mt. Kisco resident, who came to support her former Katonah neighbors. "I saw my 13-year-old granddaughter last night and I just hugged her. That community is just like this one—we all know each other."
Michael Minard lives in Katonah and teaches elementary school in Nanuet and said he helped to organize the event to honor the children, among other reasons.
"For me there is an immediacy because I am around small children every day. There’s something special about young people, an innocence—but it’s more than that, a preternatural wisdom, a connection to life. The idea that a whole class of little children is gone is beyond troubling," said Minard.
Melissa Boyer, pastor at Katonah Methodist Church, offered the group of about 40 people her thoughts and prayers.
"I am moved by the power of a community that wants to do something to fix this and to find answers," she said, "but I am suspicious of answers that come too quickly."
Boyer said the sight of so many lit candles was moving.
"The candles are a reminder of the light inside all of us, the light we carry within us. Different people will have different responses to tragedies like this."
Boyer said some would be motivated to try and change gun laws; others to push for a greater focus on mental health or address the culture of violence in our society.
"As I look out at all of you...I thank God we all have different responses that we think we can do. But there is one answer I do come to: More love. Love, love and more love."
When asked whether he thought any action would result from this tragedy, Minard said part of the problem is that the solutions to violence of this kind is so complicated.
"There are as many solutions to the problem as there are adults thinking about it," he said. "They seem to cancel each other out. Meanwhile kids are being held hostage by all of this. In a sense, we are all being held hostage."
There is nothing enjoyable about this stuff. We are hurting and if you are not, I won't ask why don't you care? When the attack on September 11 happened, people all over America and the World held vigils, held candles, and wept for the people who died. People they did not and would never know. I hope you don't feel that those actions were simply psycho-babble. Anyone who is a parent is affected. Anyone who is a first responder is affected thinking about what the people who entered those rooms saw and how devastating that must be. We grieve for the families, friends, neighbors and the community affected. Our vigil shows we share their pain and share our prayers for strength. We share in a desire to see these attacks stop - although they never will. There is a simple word for this - Community. We are all part of the interconnected Community that is our nation. When others hurt, we share their pain. When others die we grieve with them. It is simply put the human thing to do.
There shouldn't be but I see way too many people trying to use this event. MoveOn organzing a "global vigil" is just the kind of overcooked drama that makes nuts find appeal in comiitng these acts. They know if they shoot someone there will be global vigils and the NFL will memorialize events and CNN will rank a shooting etc etc. The response to this event is part of the problem. I was just reading about a "crisis team" that will be in Peekskill. There is no crisis in Peekskill but for some misguided reason they want to particpate in this as if there were.
If you have no feelings for those who dies Friday or their families, fine. But don't feel you have the right to deny us who do our right to express and feel that pain anyway we choose. I know others in our community are grappling with how to deal with young children who will be going to far off foreign places like Katonah Elementary School and Increase Miller and are going to have children ask them tough questions. Will they jump if a child drops a book in the hallway? Will they be startled when the door to the class opens unexpectedly during class? Will they see another schoolmate cry unexpectedly and not understand why? Take a moment and show some compassion. Some humanity. Some community and simply accept us for who we are. Failings, weakness, passion and all. We are only human and search for answers. Allow us that humanity.
I look at my children and can't help wondering, 'what if it had happened to them'? I know, Joshua, it didn't - but it could have. And it still can anywhere in America. IF you and your children, if you have any, are unaffected and totally accepting of what has happened and are thinking 'let's move on' - that is fine. I won't tell you that you should care more, or grieve more or show more understanding - you can deal with this however you want. But you have really got to question why you feel it is your right to stand in judgement of those who are grieving, are affected, are confused, are scared and are feeling helpless and trying to find some way to express their sorrow, their pain and their connection to those people in Newtown.
I saw your post on the Peekskill patch - Quoting you: "Why would Peekskill students need a crisis team for something they didn't go through? Its crazy. Those teams make victims worse anyway - or at least real vicitms (which Peekskill students aren't)" There has been non-stop news coverage throughout the country and world on this horrific event. Many children are asking questions, are curious, are scared. "Are we safe?" "can this happen to me?" "what can I do?" As a parent of three children, I know I don't have all the answers, and these professionals are there to help those children who are trying to understand and deal with what they have seen and heard the past 3 days even if it is not in their hometown. Newtown is Bedford, it is Peekskill, it is Anywhere, USA. This is not a tsunami in Asia, not a mudslide in Central America, - where we can say 'oh, how tragic, but it can't happen here." It is a mass killing in a purely American city, in a school that is every bit the same as theirs and ours here in Bedford. It could have been any of our schools and any of our children. That is why we are traumatized.