Ten Tips For a Happy Life With Your Teen

1) Make Clear Rules and Boundaries

When your teen goes against one of your basic rules, they need to know that is not okay.  In a calm way you can say, “That is simply not acceptable behavior in this family.”  Despite their resistance to limits, teens want boundaries and they seek them out.  It makes them feel safe and loved.

2) Observe the Key to Discipline - Be Calm and Consistent

Think about how you sound from the other side.  If you are yelling, I can almost guarantee your teen is not even listening to your words.  

Remember the teacher’s voice in Charlie Brown? “Wah-wah-wah-wah” Your teen learns nothing and you feel guilty afterwards for losing control.  If you keep your voice low you are more likely to be heard.  

Think about a young child in a supermarket asking for a cookie.  If you say “no” and he asks again, and you say “no” again, pretty soon he might start having a tantrum.  If you finally can’t take it any longer and give in and get the cookie, what did your son learn? That if he cries/whines/screams long enough, he will get what he wants.  Think of what will happen the next time you are in the supermarket.  

If you give in once, your teen will keep trying to get you to give in again.  The consistency in your discipline also teaches your teen that you mean what you say, especially when you don’t say it mean.  

Important Notice: The information presented above is provided for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for consulting a psychologist or other mental health professional to discuss your unique situation. If you would like to talk with me about it, you may call my office at 914-329-5355.