Why is it so difficult at times for parents and teens to communicate?

Welcome to my blog, “TeenSpeak: Your Guide to the Teen Experience”.  I created this blog because, as a psychologist, I know from the teens and parents I see in my practice that it’s more important than ever to bridge the gap between parents and teens.  

 If you are a parent, it might seem like you of course understand what your teen is going through..after all you were a teen once yourself. The reality is, now as a parent of a teen you might “get it” but you are experiencing it all from “the other side” now. 

If you are a teen, it might seem like your parents have no clue about your life and how it is to be a teen these days. You are right. But it really isn’t that different from how it was when they were teens and thinking their parents also had no clue about them and their reality. 

In this blog I will talk about a range of issues that affect you as a parent as well as your teen during this time of significant change. The teenage years are the time for both of you to learn how to “let go.” Your teen still needs you but they are also maturing and learning how to be their own person; just as you are adjusting to cutting the apron strings and being the parent of a separate individual who makes more of their own decisions and therefore learns from making mistakes along the way. 

I welcome your questions topics of interest or concern to you that you would like me to cover here.  

A bit about me and my experience…

First, I once was a teenager :)   I knew from the time I was in middle school that I wanted to be a psychologist and work with teens, mostly from my own experiences and observing those around me and what we all went through.  I wanted to be that person a teen would feel comfortable talking to; the person with whom a teen would feel understood and not judged.  

As a peer counselor while in high school I found middle schoolers were rife with issues and looking for someone to talk to and confide in. As a teen myself I had good intentions but not yet the experience and education I have now to help at the level I now can.  I built on my counseling experiences throughout college and grad school with a variety of populations but always found myself gravitating towards adolescents. I knew that was the population for me! I spent the first decade of my career working in a high school setting where my experiences and continual training furthered my expertise and love for working with teens. 

Fast forward many years and here I am, a mother of 3 adolescent girls. The majority of my private practice consists of teens with a variety of issues and concerns ranging from generalized anxiety, parent/child conflicts, difficulty navigating peer relationships, eating disorders,  boyfriend/girlfriend issues, cutting/self injurious behavior, teenage “angst,” drug/alcohol abuse, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to name a few. The teens I see look forward to their next session with me and love to tell me about what suggestions I gave them helped them and what did not work as well. We are a team navigating the sometimes rocky waters of adolescence and include other team members (namely their parents!) along the way at a level all find comfortable. 

The journey through the teen years is not a smooth one for most, however, with my guidance and  non-judgmental support in a confidential and comfortable environment it can be less rocky and dramatic for all.